


Colourblind

by Lisa94



Category: Shadowhunters (TV) RPF
Genre: Colourblind until you find the one, Friends to Lovers, Kissing, M/M, On Set Romance, Soulmates, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-11
Updated: 2016-09-11
Packaged: 2018-08-14 12:24:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,839
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8013742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lisa94/pseuds/Lisa94
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Someone was playing with his hair. Every now and then he felt the touch of a finger against his forehead but mostly it was the soft pulling on his messy hair. Something he loved and always put him to sleep. He was pretty sure that whoever was playing with his hair didn´t try to get him back to sleep. But he was way too comfy to really care about who was standing next to him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Colourblind

**Author's Note:**

> It´s inspired by the following tumblr posts:  
> \- http://nephilimalecs.tumblr.com/post/144466396175/the-malec-network-may-challenge-colors-au  
> \- http://nephilimalecs.tumblr.com/post/148928976575/hcrryshumjr-harry-looking-adorably-soft-while  
> \- http://nephilimalecs.tumblr.com/post/146586019065/malec-au-magnus-bane-and-alec-lightwood-are-the
> 
> Also, as always, I just want to say that english isn´t my native language so keep all the mistakes you find. I also have no idea how life on set works so just go with what I wrote. Have fun!

**Colourblind**

 

_15\. April 2016_

Someone was playing with his hair. Every now and then he felt the touch of a finger against his forehead but mostly it was the soft pulling on his messy hair. Something he loved and always put him to sleep. He was pretty sure that whoever was playing with his hair didn´t try to get him back to sleep. But he was way too comfy to really care about who was standing next to him.

„C´mon sunshine, wake up. We gotta go to set.“ Matt grumbled into the pillow and tried to get away but only succeded to fall from the couch he was sleeping on. He moaned in pain and heard someone laugh.

„Shut up, Harry.“ Matt finally opened his eyes and looked up to the already dressed Harry. They were in his Hotel room. Matt had his own but a couple weeks after shooting started Harry and him became close and even closer and now they almost spent every night together. The room was big enough.

„Here, I´ll help you.“ Harry was still laughing but put his hand out to help Matt to his feet. Matt took it but fell right into Harry as soon as he stood. Which almost send Harry flying to the floor as Matt was a good head taller than the older man.

„Uff. What are you doing you giant?“ He asked but put his arms around Matt anyways. Matt cuddled into the older men.

„Getting my morning cuddles.“

„Sad to tell you that we don´t really have time for that.“ Harry said but tightend his hug anyways.

„Fine. I´m gonna shower.“ Matt made his way through the room. It was way to luxury and big for his liking. He was more of a simple guy. The Hotel room in the size of a small flat wasn´t what he himself would call a hotel room. Also the furniture looked expensive enough that you were afraid to touch anything in case it would break. Not that Matt wouldn´t be able to replace it. He wasn´t unknown as an actor. But he also wasn´t known enough to replace the expensive things and still have enough money to live. The bathroom was huge as well. Matt knew that they really had to go to the set soon. It wasn´t new that the tall actor liked to sleep and was late in the mornings. Just for that it was a good thing he basically lived in Harry´s hotel room.

„Matt, are you ready? Dom called your phone three times! They´re all at breakfast already!“ Harry called as Matt stepped out of the shower.

„Two minutes!“ He called back and went to dry himself off and get some clothes. He didn´t made sure to actually look at what he wears. He would be in costume all day anyways. Who cares what he would wear for breakfast and in the car over to the set. Not that he would actually be able to tell what he wore.

„Matt!“ Harry called again when Matt opened the bathroom door.

„Yes! I´m ready. C'mon let´s get breakfast.“ He took Harry´s hand as he walked by him and pulled him outside and to the elevator.

 

*

 

The others where already in the breakfast room waiting for them. Their plates were already empty but most of them still had some coffee in their mugs. Matt would have felt bad if it wouldn´t happen so often.

„Morning lovebirds. Nice of you to join us.“ Dom greeted them but smiled at them. Everyone knew that he was joking. But in every joke is a bit of truth. Matt and Harry weren´t in a relationship. They also never discussed feelings. But they couldn´t really deny that they were closer than other friends.

„Morning knobhead.“ Matt answered and sat down with his plate and coffee. It was a chaotic morning like every other. The breakfast area was just like the hotel rooms - too much. They had a lot of food which was great but again the furniture was way too expensive. Matt was glad that his friends and castmates didn´t care too much about it and left their stuff everywhere on the tables they were occupying. He had to move some scripts aside that were needed for the day and started to eat. Harry sat down across from him. Everyone was done before the two even started but they all waited for them to finish aswell.

„Anyone wants to go out clubbing on Saturday? I don´t think any of us have a night shoot.“ Alberto asked. Matt shooked his head.

„I´m flying home tonight after shooting.“ He said and remembered in that second that he still had to pack his bag. Well, that could wait. He was not going to miss his coffee before a long day of shooting.

„What about the others?“ Alberto asked again and most of the cast agreed. „Nice. Let´s go to that one we went to the first night we were in Toronto. It was a good one.“

„Yeah, let´s do it. Hey Matt! Can you hand me my script? It´s the blue one.“ Dom asked. Matt stoppd chewing his toast and gave Dom a dry look. He then swallowed and grabed the entire stack of scripts next to him.

„Aren´t you a funny guy.“ He said and gave all of scripts over to his friend.

„Well we had to find out somehow if you two still haven´t acted.“ Dom said and picked his script out of the stack.

„Oh and you can´t just ask 'hey matt! Have you kissed anyone lately?' and I would tell you 'no, I still see everything in black and white'.“ Matt was annoyed. Not so much that Dom was joking with him, he knew that he wasn´t serious. But Matt liked to know things. Always had. And the one thing he really wanted to know he couldn´t have. See colours. He lived in a world where you see everything in black and white until you meet your soulmate. At the age of 29 he still hadn´t found his. And most people know that this was something that annoyed him to no end.

„Jeez, I´m sorry.“ Dom said and looked down.

„Yeah, well... I see you guys there.“ Matt said, took the last of his breakfast to eat on the way and made his way to the front of the hotel to get a taxi.

 

*

 

„Knock, knock!“ Matt was already in costume and lying on his couch in his trailer. He was avoiding the others. He just didn´t feel like having people around him right now. Matt got up from the couch and opened the trailer door. It was Loreen, his makeup artist. They do have a makeup trailer on set but they mostly used it for more time consuming makeup.

„Morning!“ Loreen smiled brightly and put her makeup bag on the desk in the room. The answer was a slight smile. Matt got the only chair in the trailer and put it infront of the desk and sat down. Loreen turned around to him after getting the products and temporary rune-tattoos ready.

„Okay. Are you in Alec mode or are you just grumpy.“

„It´s fine. Just a rough start to the day with Dom.“ Matt explained and closed his eyes to let Loreen start with the foundation.

„You guys okay?“ Loreen asked.

„Yeah, it was nothing major. I just wanted to be alone after it for a bit. But you know, we have a fight scene today so I will feel better after that.“ Matt grinned.

„You do realize that you´re not actually going to punch him? Look up please.“ Loreen asked and put away her brush to grab a concealer.

„Yeah, but just screaming at him will be good enough.“ And it really was. The fight scene with Dom was quickly shot and Matt did feel better even if not completely calm afterwards. They had lunch together after that and talked about what happened this morning. After lunch was another scene with Harry on the schedule and that wasn´t a friendly one as well. Which was good for Matt as he still wasn´t in the mood for anything too lovey-dovey. He didn´t had too many scenes because he had to leave for his flight home early today. Before he went back to the hotel to get his things he got rid of his makeup and costume. The rune-tattoos had mostly disappeared because of sweat and the rest of it would just vanish once he showered. Probably once he was home in New York. Matt made his way to Harry´s trailer before he went looking for a car. He wasn´t there as he still had some stuff too shoot and Matt didn´t want to just get into his trailer. So he sat down on the metal steps before the trailer and waited.

It took Harry an hour to finally appear. He was still in full makeup and costume. Harry still had a night shoot to do. Matt smiled when he saw Harry coming his way – as always with his cell phone in hand most likely snapchatting - and straightened out his legs.

„Hey. Do you feel better now?“ Harry asked as he sat next to Matt and put his phone away.

„Lot´s.“

„You do know that Dom didn´t wanted to made you mad, right? He felt really bad after you left.“

„Yeah, I know. It´s just that everyones knows that the colour thing is annoying me. And just because he found Sarah at an early age doesn´t mean that he has to be so persisting about it all the time.“

„Well, he does it to me too.“

„Yeah, but it doesn´t annoy me so much that he thinks we´re a thing. Obviously we aren´t.“ Matt sighed. „I just need him to back off a bit.“ He layed his head on Harry´s shoulder not even thinking about the costume and wrinkles that might appear.

„I think he get´s it. By the way, what are you still doing here? I thought you had to leave early so you only had two scenes today?“ Harry asked and started to play with Matt´s hair again.

„I do. Just wanted to say goodbye.“

„Mhm..want to stay here for another minute?“ Harry asked. He was tired and cuddling his co-actor always relaxed him. Matt nodded into his shoulder and the two of them kept quiet, sitting on the metal steps and just enjoying the moment.

„I should go.“ Matt said after a while and sat up. „I still haven´t packed anything and my flight departes in about three hours.“

„You really are a lazy bone.“ Harry laughed.

„Yeah, whatever. I like to sleep. See you on sunday, yeah?“ Harry nodded and the two shared a hug before Matt made his way over to the car waiting for him.

 

**

 

_16\. April 2016_

His flight was cancelled. Well before it was cancelled it was delayed … and delayed … and delayed. Once it was clear that his flight wouldn´t leave the ground of Toronto that day it was way past midnight and Matt just stayed at the airport. He was already in the VIP area and could sleep in one of the bedrooms they had at the airport. By the time he woke up and freshend up a bit it was still two hours until the next flight to New York would leave. His visit home would be shorter than he would´ve liked. But he couldn´t change it and with shooting he was just glad that he had the time to visit them at all. Matt got himself a coffee and a bagel for breakfast and sat back down in the waiting room until his flight would be called.

He spent his time going through his Twitter mentions. He wasn´t big on actually tweeting but he liked to read what his fans where tweeting him. Well, most of the time he wasn´t really sure if they were complementing or insulting him. Matt wasn´t up to date with today´s slang. He should read into it. Maybe he would be able to actually answer some of the tweets they were sending him. Like, why do they call themselves trash?! He just didn´t understand todays language. He was just about to lock his phone when his display changed and Harry´s caller ID flashed across it. Knowing that he still had at least an hour to kill he picked it up.

„Hey, you! How´s New York?“ Harry said before Matt could even say hello.

„Wouldn´t know. I´m still in Toronto.“ Matt answered and tried to get into a comfortable position in the small seat.

„Where? Are you back at the hotel?“

„No, at the airport. My flight was delayed and delayed. To the point where it was stupid to go back to the hotel. I slept here and my flight will leave in an hour or something.“

„How annoying. Well, I gotta leave soon but I just wanted to check in if your okay.“ Harry said and Matt could hear a door closing in the backround. Harry must have been on his way to an early shoot. He also spend the most time in that makeup chair so it was logical for him to leave early.

„Yeah, I´m good. I´ll text you when I land.“

 

*

 

His airport experince in New York was way more pleasent than in Toronto. There weren´t too many fans as most of them probably still thought he was shooting. He was actually relieved that he wouldn´t need to deal with a lot of fans. He loved them of course. But if they knew that he was there then his sister would as well. And then it wouldn´t be much of a surprise for him to come home for her birthday.

„Matt! Hi, can I please have a picture?“ A young girl was approaching him as he was on his way to the exit.

„Yeah, sure. Just please don´t tweet it or whatever. I´m trying to surprise my sister and I don´t want her to see me here, okay?“

The young fan nodded and Matt crouched down to take the picture. He just hoped that he girl would actually wait at least an hour or two until she told the world about it.

„Thank you so much!“ She squeld and ran off.

„Matt! Over here!“ With a bright smile he turned to see his younger sister waving at him. She was in on the surprise and picked him up at the airport.

„Hey! Ugh, it´s so good to see you, Cathy.“ He went to give her a bear hug that left her laughing.

„I missed you. Sometimes it´s really annoying that the two of you are always away.“ She said and starting walking to her car. Matt and Alex were both into acting and always somewhere to shoot. Cathy didn´t wanted to be an actress and was in Uni. Which made her miss her siblings a lot from time to time.

„Well, how about I ask my boss if you can come up for a week. See the set, meet the cast, spend time with your favourite brother.“ Matt asked as they reached the car and he put his bag on the backseat.

„Oh would you? You guys always tell me about shooting and stuff but I never really saw it. It would be amazing if I could go.“

„And because you miss your brother, right?“ Matt looked at his sister with raised eyebrows. „Of course! How soon can you ask?“ Matt just laughed and turned to look out of the window. He missed New York and its bright lights.

„The entire family is with Alex by the way. But I told noone that you´re coming. Not even mum and dad.“

„Me neither. Hopefully they have some leftover cake for me.“ Matt said. What would a birthday be without cake?

„Aren´t you supposed to be on some diet?“ Catherine asked. She might not be into acting but she knew enough about it. He was also pretty sure that both his sisters followed his co-stars on all their social media.

„Well, yes. But if I don´t tell them that I had a slice of cake and you won´t tell them when you come up I don´t see the problem. It won´t make me gain 4 pounds.“ He would not miss out on cake. Not when it was a birthday. He ate healthy for the last 4 months that had to count for something.

„My rebell brother.“ Cathy laughed and slowed down the car when they entered Alex' street.

„You would be surprised.“, grinned Matt. Cathy was the first to leave the car and ring the bell. Matt stayed a bit behind to not be seen on first sight.

„Happy Birthday, sis!“ Cathy cried as soon as Alex had opened the door to her house. She smiled brightly and pulled her younger sister into a tight hug.

„Thank you! So good to see you. Come on in everyone else is already here.“ Alex made room for her sister to step in but she stayed where she was.

„I got you a birthday present.“ She said and waved Matt over who – with a wide smile on his face – moved next to Cathy.

„Matt!“ she cried out to hug her younger brother tighly.

„I thought you had to shoot.“

„I do. But I got the day off. I do have to fly back tomorrow.“ Matt said into Alex' shoulder. „I wouldn´t miss your 30th Birthday.“

„Thank you so much for coming.“ Alex whispered and steped back to get her siblings into the house. The family was already there like Alex had said. They all were more than happy to see Matt with his sisters. The siblings were close but didn´t see each other nearly often enough. It was a nice evening of cake, coffee and catching up with his family.

 

*

 

Later that night all the guests were gone and even Catherine left. Matt decided to stay the night at Alex's. The siblings layed on Alex' carpet in her living room next to the big window that showed the New York city lights by night. Something Matt loved doing as a kid and is still one of the things that made him feel at home.

„So, how´s the lover doing?“ Alex asked. Her head was next to Matt´s feet.

„I think you would know if I had one.“ Matt answered.

„Really? 'cause I follow Harry on Snapchat and noone is in his storys as often as you are.“ Alex said matter of factly.

„Because we´re friends! It´s not like we´re a couple and told noone.“

„Do you want it, though?“ Alex asked.

„Want what?“ Alex sat up to lean on her elbow and look at her brother.

„Be in a relationship with Harry!“ Matt just sighed and layed his hands over his eyes.

„It´s just that … I wouldn´t mind okay? But I thought before that I found my Soulmate and once we had to face the truth that it wasn´t the case we both lost contact forever. I don´t want that to happen with him too.“ It was the truth. As much as he wanted to finally be able to see colours he didn´t want to loose his friend.

„But what if he is the one? You will walk around all your life trying to find your Soulmate, being unhappy because you can´t see colours and all of the time he is right next to you? Have you two ever talked about it?“

„No. I think he is just as afraid of it as I am. We don´t talk about it. We don´t act on it.“

„Okay, little brother. Do me a favour. Think about it. And talk to Harry about it. I bet if you two are this close right now, finding out that you´re not meant to be isn´t going to be the end of the world. You will work through this. Just … it´s one kiss. One kiss and you will know the truth.“

„Yeah, well. We have a kiss scene coming up anyways, so ...“

„You do?! Oh my god, you need to call me right after.“ Alex sat up all the way and grabbed at Matt´s legs.

„Okay!“ Matt laughed. „But be ready for my breakdown.“ He was only half joking.

 

*

 

At night Matt was lying on Alex' couch and was ready to sleep when his phone started ringing. With one eye open he looked at his screen only to see that Harry was calling on facetime. Smiling Matt moved to a more comfortable position and accepted the call. Harry was still in his trailer and seemed to have put the phone against the wall or something as he was currently removing his eye make up. Matt watched him for a while before he said his greeting.

„Oh, hi! Didn´t realize you accepted the call.“ Harry said and seemed to light up at the man on his phone.

„Are you just now done shooting?“ Matt asked.

„Yeah. Started early and finished late. I´m ready to sleep for a week.“ Harry kept on rubbing on his eyes. It was a lot of black and glittery eyeshadow that seemed to be a bitch to remove.

„Sadly you can´t.“

„I know. But I also couldn´t really sleep last night. I, for some reason, sleep a lot better when you´re close.“ Harry admitted which made Matt feel funny things.

„Well, you have me back tomorrow.“

„Thank god.“ Matt smiled silently and kept on watching Harry removing his makeup. Magnus vanished more and more and Harry returned more and more.

„What´s your schedule tomorrow?“ Matt asked. He still wasn´t sure if he should just wait at the hotel or go to the set to visit his friends there even if he wouldn´t have to work.

„Just some scenes in the morning. I´m done by lunch time.“ He finally got rid of all the makeup and leaned back. Matt couldn´t help seeing Harry´s tiny, tired eyes. He really had a long day.

„Let´s get some lunch then, yeah? I´ll come to set and pick you up.“

„Yeah, sounds great. How´s your family?“

„Great. Cathy might come up for a week or something. I have to ask the big guys.“

„They won´t say no. She isn´t some 3 year old that would constantly disturb the shooting. I´d really like to finally meet here.“ Harry, as the other actors, never met Matt´s family. Harry did want to find out more about them and got his sisters numbers. The three had a groupchat on Whatsapp that Matt knew about but was never invited. He gave up on questioning what they were texting about.

„I´m sure you do. If you two meet I won´t see here for the entire week.“ Matt grinned.

„Says who? We sleep in the same room! You will see her!“

„She´s not going to sleep in your room.“ Matt clarified.

„It´s our room.“ Harry corrected him and the funny feeling was back.

„Yeah, well we´ll talk about that once she´s there. I´m gonna let you go to sleep, yeah? You look exhausted.“

„I am as well. Good night, Matt. See you tomorrow.“

„G'night.“

 

**

 

_20\. April 2016_

Matt and Harry were sitting in Harry´s Trailer, pretty much on each other, with their scripts in hand. They already went through their lines a couple of times but they just wanted to do it one more time. To be sure they got it right, but also – even though none of them would say it – to spent time together.

„Can we take a break? I´m going to forget the lines we need for today.“ Harry yawned and let his script fall on the floor.

„Sure.“ Matt threw his script on Harry´s and layed back down. The friends were laying on Harry´s couch, Matt more on Harry than beside him.

„Your birthday´s soon.“ Matt said when he felt Harry playing with his hair. Good thing that he hasn´t been in hair and makeup yet.

„I know. 34 already. I´m getting old.“ Harry sighed.

„You´re really not.“ Matt objected.

„Easy for you to say, you´re only 28.“

„Whatever. But do you have anything planned? You wanna go out or something?“

„I don´t know. Maybe just getting out with you guys for a couple drinks. Maybe to some club. I don´t really feel like having a big celebration as I´m shooting that day.“ Harry had closed his eyes and was just relaxing. That was until Gloria, his makeup artist, came in. She had her makeup bag with her and wasn´t even looking twice at the friends. It was normal for everyone on set that these two were very touchy with each other.

„Sorry to interrupt, but I need to get you ready, Harry.“ Nodding Harry got up to sit down infront of the desk where Gloria got her things ready. Matt had a scene later that day so he didn´t have to get ready just yet. He stayed on the couch and observed Gloria and Harry.

„You know, I will do something for your birthday. Find a club or something.“ He came back to their conversation. Harry´s Birthday was Matt´s day off so he gladly organized the entire thing.

„You do that. But I meant it when I said I don´t want anything big.“ Harry wasn´t able to look at Matt as Gloria was currently prepping his face, but Matt could imagen that he would have gotten a stern look.

„I know. I´ll remember.“ They both kept quiet after that and Matt kept observing his friend.

He was totally relaxed with closed eyes. He had really pretty eyes. And nice, long eyelashes. Things Matt hasn´t realized for the first time. His skin was a nice thing as well. Always soft to the touch and so, so warm. Matt got cold easily but a hug from Harry always got his skin heat up again. It was a lot of little things that others don´t see that came to his mind when asked about his older friend. His conversation with Alex came to his mind again. She wasn´t the first to tell him that he should act on his feeling. Other´s did too. And he knew it himself. But the fear in him, the fear that nothing would change with a kiss and their friendship wouldn´t survive it, was always there, telling him to not talk about it. The question he had to answer himself was simple. Try out his luck and might have Harry forever as his better half or try out his luck and fuck up what they already have. The fact that he didn´t really had a choice as their kiss scene was coming up made him only more on edge.

„See you on set, sunshine!“ Harry got him out of his thoughts. He was ready in costume and makeup and was looking at Matt expectingly.

„Yeah, see you.“ Matt got a tight smile on his lips but Harry didn´t say anything and left. Sighing loudly Matt rubbed his face and got up to go over to his own trailer to get ready.

„You´ll have your answer soon.“ Gloria said and Matt nodded. Yeah, he just wasn´t sure if he wanted to know what the answer would be.

 

**

 

Matt was laying on his his bed, staring at the ceiling. The room, even though it look exactly like Harry´s, felt foreign. Somehow wrong. But he had spent the last couple of days in here, avoiding the other man. He still kept his promise and had organized a VIP section in a club nearby. The same one they always go to. But other than that he kept to himself.

But today was Harry´s Birthday and he needed to be there. Even if his new found feelings, Harry and alcohol probably won´t be the best combo ever. He wouldn´t forgive himself if he missed Harry´s Birthday. Breathing deeply he rolled out off bed and made his way to the bathroom to get himself ready. It was already late evening, everyone else still shooting.

Matt didn´t gave too much thought into his outfit. He couldn´t see colours so all clothes he owned were black or white. So his Outfit consisted of black, tight jeans, black shoes, a white shirt and a black jacket. In the club would be the light dimmed anyway. The music was loud, the light bright and the dancefloor crowed. Matt had just stepped inside, made a quick entrance to not get reconized from waiting fans. He knew that his friends and the birthday boy had to be in the VIP area, where he was right now, but he had a hard time finding them in the dark light.

„Matt! I thought you wouldn´t come.“ He was suddenly hugged from behind and turned his head to see Harry, drink in hand, happily cuddled up to him. The warm feeling in him was back and he couldn´t stop the smile.

„Of course I came. It´s your birthday.“ Matt softly pushed Harry a step back to turn around and hug him properly.

„I´m glad you came. Let´s get you a drink.“ And no matter how stupid the idea was, Matt just kept his smile on his face and let Harry lead him to the bar. A couple drinks later the two had found a quiet place and forgott all about the rest of the group. The only important thing was the guy infront of them. Matt held a cocktail in his hand, starring into it with a furrowed brow.

„What are you thinking about, Sunshine?“ Harry slurred.

„I wonder what colour this cocktail is.“ Matt slurred right back. It was a weird thought but something that bothered him since the bartender pushed the drink into his hand.

„You know what I wonder? What the colour of your eyes is.“ Harry said and suddenly there was a tension between them. There was nothing but the black of Harry´s eyes that met the black of Matt´s eyes. That´s all they could see.

„We could find it out.“ It was just whisper and Matt found it already hard to breath and just nodded. They both leaned in and closed their eyes, ready to meet the lips of the other and finally – hopefully – get some colour in their lives. Matt´s heart hammered in his rip cage. His finger itched to get Harry closer to him. But he stayed where he was. He could feel Harry´s breath on his lips and it would only be seconds before their lips would meet, when -

„Harry! I need … oh … sorry. Did I interupt something? I´m sorry.“ Dom appeared. Harry almost groweld as he moved back and looked up at his cast mate.

„Did you need something?“ He asked, almost a bit snappy. He was drunk and annoyed.

„Yeah, it´s just … I can go.“

„You already messed it up. So what is it?“ Maybe a lot snappy.

„Sarah is outside but can´t get in because she´s not on the list.“ Dom said quiet quickly which made Harry groan but he got up anyway to let Dom´s girlfriend in. Matt couldn´t find it in him to be relieved. Something he should feel after all the days that he talked himself into anxiety just thinking about this situation. He just felt disappointed and stared after Harry where he vanished in the crowd.

 

**

 

_3\. March 2016_

Two weeks. Two more weeks and shooting for Season 1 of the Shadowhunters was done. They still would see each other of course as they had the press thing to attend. But the shooting would be over. It was a bit sad as noone knew if they would get a second Season. The movie already floped who knew if it wouldn´t be the same with the Tv Show? Matt and Harry still had that weird tension between them. Matt would sleep in Harry´s room but also use his for a full night sleep. He made sure to not show too much affection. It was more a friendship that he had with everyone else. And it was driving him crazy. He knew that it wasn´t just the show that was coming to an end but also his chance to get the truth. After this shooting day the cast was already up in their hotel rooms. But Matt and Dom stayed behind and were in the hotel bar. The two of them got quiet close over the time aswell. Dom had already found his Soulmate, Sarah, when they all had met. Which is why Matt needed to have this night with him. He needed someone to talk about all his weird feelings and someone who was at the same place to tell him what to do. Give him the speach that will make him realize what the right decision is. Make him a bit more brave. They both were at their second beer, but Matt was more playing with his bottle than actually drinking the beer.

„What´s wrong?“ Dom asked.

„Just ...“ Matt shrugged his shoulder.

„Just what? Just say it, mate.“

„How did you know that Sarah was your Soulmate?“ Matt asked the question that was eating him alive.

„I kissed her.“ Dom shrugged.

„Funny.“ Matt said driely.

„Before that. How did you know she was the one?“

„Is this about Harry?“ Matt said nothing but took another sip. „Okay. I just felt this pull towards Sarah. I wanted to be with her every second I could. I knew that I wanted to spent my life with her. There was no doubt that she was in my future. So I just took a chance.“

„Weren´t you afraid that your feelings didn´t meant that you two were Soulmates?“

„No. I just knew that I wanted everything I could have with her. I didn´t really thought about anything else.“ Matt took another sip. „This is about Harry, right? The reason why the two of you are so weird together lately.“ Matt sighed and rubbed his eyes.

„We both know that we act like a couple. And I´m pretty sure I´m not the only one with matching feelings. But we both had serious relationships before and they didn´t turned out to be it. I think we´re both just scared. At least I know that I am.“

„You know you have two options here. Kiss him soon and have it private or find out if you two are meant to be on set with the crew and us around. The kiss will happen, Matt. But maybe you guys want to talk about it before and maybe even act on it.“ Dom was right. As was his sister. It didn´t made him any braver though. So he just drank the rest of his beer and stood up.

„I´ll think about it. Thanks, Dom. I´m going to bed.“ That night, he spent in his own bed.

 

*

 

_4\. March 2016_

The next morning Matt was woken up by loud knocking on the door. Groaning he pulled his pillow over his head and tried to get back to sleep. „Matt!“ It was Harry. And it was too early to deal with Harry. Matt decided to just ignore him.

„Matthew! I know you´re in there!“ The knocking got louder and whining into his pillow he got up and opened the door. The light in the hotel floor was on and Matt squinted against it. Harry was already dressed with his script in hand.

„Finally. You know we have this really important scene tomorrow? And haven´t even rehearsed it, yet?“ Harry held his script up.

„It´s not even 8am and it´s my day off. Why are you here.“ It was more of a rethorical question as Matt was already on his way back to bed.

„Like I said, we need to rehearse. And I couldn´t sleep.“ Matt felt Harry´s eyes on himself. Only in that moment he realized that he was wearing nothing but his boxershorts. Great. Back in bed he pulled his blanket back over himself.

„Can I ask you something?“ Matt nodded. „Have I done anything?“

„What? No. Why?“

„Because of this.“ Harry pointed to the bed. „Because you´re sleeping in your own room. It never was like that.“ Sighing Matt sat up.

„You know what? Let´s rehease the scene.“ It was the wedding scene. And Matt really didn´t know why Harry felt like they had to rehease it. There wasn´t even much dialog. Just walking, looking and well … kissing. Maybe they should just go for it. Find out if they had the connection that they wished for. Having a celebration in private. Or a breakdown in private. Both options would probably be better than doing it infront of the crew and their cast mates. Dom was right about that.

„So, how should we do it?“ Matt asked as he put on some clothes.

„I´m just going to stand over there and you stay here. And than we just do as it´s written in the script.“ Matt nodded and waited for Harry to get to the other side of the room. He counted to three and the scene begun.

Matt didn´t need long to get into role. In that scene Alec was overwhelmed with feelings and couldn´t believe this man actually still wanted him. That he could have a chance on a happy life if he was brave enough to follow his heart. Matt was nervous. Nervous about what might happen. He felt all this love for the smaller man. He could finally let his feelings let go and give Harry all the heart eyes he wanted to. Harry stayed where he was but gave Matt this intense look. He felt his heart beating faster. And finally took a step forward. It was the moment of truth. He didn´t felt as brave as his walk looked like. He was terrified. As soon as he reached Harry and grabbed his shirt and went for a kiss – but stopped himself. Breathing heavenly he rested his forehead against Harry´s. He felt Harry moving his face up a bit as to get that kiss. But Matt took a step back.

„I´m sorry. I ..ehm..I need to take a shower.“ And with that he fled.

 

**

 

_10\. March 2016_

„Okay, Matt infront of the altar, Harry behind the doors.“ They were reheasing the wedding scene. And even if they wouldn´t kiss now, they would in a couple of hours. Before the day was over they would know what their future held for them. And the thought of that made him feel sick. He was still in sweats and a t-shirt, script in hand – again he wasn´t sure for what, and his eyes on Harry. He also was in comfy clothes with a hat on his head. A hat that got Matt distracted because it really looked good on him.

„Alright. Camera´s ready?“ The camera guy nodded. „Good. We´ll do it twice. Once just to make sure you two know how far to walk and a second time with music to make sure we have enough scenes.“ Twice. Matt was going to be sick. The tension wasn´t just felt by Matt and accorting to his look also Harry. The entire cast knew. Almost everyone would be at the wedding, were therefore on set right now. Normally it was a lot of joking, snapchatting, taking pictures. No it was quiet. No one really knew what to say. It wasn´t a secret what was going on between Matt and Harry. Even though they don´t talk about it everyone knew it. So, the cast knew what this scene meant to them. And they didn´t know what to say. A person looking from outside would say they were concentrating. But Matt could swear on his life that noone was 100% concentrated.

„And go!“ The shuddering breath he took when Harry came into the room wasn´t even acted. Harry kept walking until one of the crew gave him the sign to stop. Next, Nicola went down the hall to Harry, and than it was Matt´s time. He took one last breath and made his way down the stairs, not taking his eyes of Harry. There was a quick dialog with Nicola and than it was time. With three more steps he was with Harry, grabbed him and - „Great! Let´s do it again.“

„We need to.“ Harry whispered and Matt nodded. They really needed to get that kiss. They didn´t get it.

They went over the scene again and again until every step was sure and everyone knew exactly where he needed to be at all time. And than it was time for costume and makeup. Matt never had much trouble waiting for a scene. But this one … everyone needed more time to get ready and it was driving him insane.

„Hey, Matt.“ Laureen said as she was packing up her brushes. „Are you okay?“

„No.“ He said.

„Do you need anything?“

„Nothing you can get me. But thanks.“ Matt stayed with Laureen until everyone was ready to shoot and they went back to set. It was for some reason even worse that everyone now also looked like they were at a wedding. Why did it have to be a wedding? It also felt like a freakin wedding as he still hasn´t seen Harry.

„Lights?“

„Yes!“

„Camera?“

„Rolling!“

„Scene 29, Take 1. Action!“ And the entire thing started again. Matt´s nauseas feeling was hitting him harder than before. He knew, this was it. This was the time they would have to kiss. The dialog between him and Steph was went through like on autopilot. He was saying his lines, he heard his castmates saying their lines – but his thought were with Harry. And than he turned the corner and fixed his eyes on Matt. And boy did he look good. He had no idea what the colour scheme was. He didn´t know if the colours worked together. He just knew that Harry looked amazing. And that there was nothing going to stop him this time. With a last deep breath he went down the steps and didn´t stop when he arrived infront of Harry. Before his mind could catch up and had him close, close, close and his lips were finally on Harry´s.

The moment their lips touched Matt knew this was the right thing. Something inside of him was lifting off his chest. He felt lighter. He felt whole. He felt like everything was at his place and there was nothing that could be better but here with Harry in his arms. In that moment he forgot that they were shooting. The only important thing was that Harry was here, kissing him, and it felt right. So right. Harry was the one to break the kiss, searching desperatly for something in Matt´s eyes.

The first thing Matt realized was that the tips of Harry´s hair weren´t black. He didn´t know what colour it was. But it was a colour. With new happiness rushing through his veins he went back into the kiss until someone called „cut!“. He heard it as through cotton wool.

„We ehm ...“ Matt said feeling a bit overwhelmed. It was like his brain couldn´t comprehend all the different colours in the room. His eyes kept on darting through the room. So many different colours. His castmates that all looked expactenly at them. Back to Harry. Always back to Harry.

„Yeah. Let´s meet in your Hotel room after the shoot. We should ...“

„Talk about it.“ Matt nodded.

„Yeah.“ Harry agreed smiling.

„Okay! It seems as the tension is finally gone. Let´s shoot it again. We need another angle.“ With smiles on their faces they turned away from each other and got ready to restart the scene.

 

**

 

„I always wanted to see colours. But all of these bright colourful things are starting to give me a headache.“ Matt was only in sweatpants. After being in a suit all day he just wanted to be comfy now. Harry was sitting on Matt´s bed, in sweatpants and a shirt aswell.

„I know what you mean. I mean we know about darkness and brightness. But who would have thought colours can actually blind you.“

„Yeah. So, we can see them now.“ Matt said and sat down next to him.

„It´s not that surprising, is it?“ Harry smiled.

„No. We should have done it sooner. The kissing I mean.“

„We really missed out.“ Harry laughed and leaned in to kiss Matt again. „We really did.“ Matt sighed into the kiss and pushed Harry gently on his back so he laid on his bed. With his thighs on both sides he straddled his Soulmate. Matt felt Harry hugging him close, making them lay skin to shirt. It was amazing how good it felt. Matt opened his lips to gently bite down on Harry´s lower lip which made Harry moan and pull him even closer.

„Thought … we … wanted … to … talk.“ Harry said between kisses but did nothing to stop. „We do.“ Matt gave him one last kiss and let himself fall beside him. Heavy breathing was heard in the room.

„I would ask you if you were okay with us being Soulmates but I guess what just happened answered my question.“ Harry said. Matt just laughed and his hand found Harry´s.

„Yeah. I would´ve been okay with it for so long.“

„Same for me. If we make this work we need to stop being afraid and actually talk.“ Harry made clear and then reached over to get his phone.

„What are you doing?“ Matt asked.

„Telling the world.“ Matt fondly rolled his eyes as Harry opened the Snapchat App and pointed the front camera to himself and Matt.

„Hey guys! So we have something to tell you ...“

 

_fin_


End file.
